THIS KEEPS COMING UP FOR ME
OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN
surrender. let. go. release.
in the quiet of my meditation.
in the stillness of the early hours,
in the emptiness of having a good enough life.
i hear the same message over and over again.
surrender. let go. release.
i am carrying so much
that is no longer mine to carry.
i have gotten so used to holding it
that i have forgotten how to let go.
i am scared
and so even though i live life at a high level
for me, i know i am settling for good enough.
there is greatness here
underneath all this fear
that keeps me playing only good enough
it is time to let go of my need to control
and yet i am not even sure i know how.
open the grip i hold on life,
on my business,
on my love,
on my beliefs
on what i think i can and cannot do
on the need to continually punish myself with pain
open my heart
that which is so much greater than i.
it is inside me
and yet i make pretend it is distant.
it is closer than the closest reality
it is not something foreign. it is the most familiar.
that which comes
when i let go
please tell me you know what i am saying . . . .