as you may or may not know,
i have spent a lot of years being a caretaker to those i love/d
and whereas on one hand, i would never change one moment;
on the other hand i would change every moment if i could.
i want you to know i understand
the love it takes,
the commitment you make,
the seemingly endless duration of not knowing
what the future brings
and the desire to live each moment,
good, bad, beautiful or ugly for what it is,
knowing these moments are fleeting
that they will one day pass
and there will be no more moments.
i know how special that is
and how hard it is to maintain and sustain.
i know how many times i acted from my fear rather than my love
and i know how natural it is to blame ourselves
for not being able to be more.
i know there were times
when i just wished someone would be there to caretake me.
i got tired and run down
and i felt so alone
because no one could understand what i was going through.
i want you to know,
if you ever want someone to be there for you
not to fix you but just to listen to you,
i am a phone call away.
in the meantime,
i will sit here in the silence of my own space and send you
more love than you could ever dream possible.
blessings and love to all who take care of others.
you make all of us better.