may 2016 be the year
we each step up
and become who we know we have chosen to be.
may our dream become our purpose.
HAPPY NEW YEAR. HAPPY 2016
23 HOURS, 59 MINUTES AND 40 SECONDS
many years ago,
the rebbe pulled me aside
and told me he wanted me to understand
the difference between being honest and being truthful.
i was perplexed.
he continued saying
and explained the following situation.
if a man were to come home and tell his wife
i thought about you almost every moment of the day
except for about 20 seconds when this beautiful woman walked by.
what do you think his wife would hear.
the 20 seconds right.
she would remember that for 23 hours, 59 minutes, and 40 seconds
all he could do was think of her.
that is being truthful.
honest is to come home and say,
“baby, i love you so much,
i thought about you the whole day today.”
perhaps it is because i do it so much in my life
that i see it so much in others.
why do we spend our time thinking only of the 20 seconds?
i used to judge a whole religion, because of a few.
i look in the mirror and see my flaws rather than my strengths
i remember the moments i made a mistake,
rather than the life that i have lived gloriously.
do you do this too?
here is my promise to myself
and because we are all connected in the beautiful mosaic of life
to you as well.
i will choose to be honest with myself more that truthful
i will allow all of the moments to make up my present
i will see the totality of the mosaic
rather than get lost in the individual broken pieces.
when we meditate and celebrate world peace together
every night at 9pm EST
let’s remember our world is amazingly beautiful
and the vast, vast, vast majority of the people living here
are kind and loving and want to live in peace.
even those who are caught in a belief of the moment
where they feel destruction is the only way to speak their truth
may we pray from our own experience
that together we see honestly
not only the 20 seconds
but the 23 hours, 59 minutes, 40 seconds
that make up who we are on a day to day basis.
to me, this is the miracle of hanukkah,
the birth that we celebrate at christmas
the principles and symbols of kwanza
we are one mosaic,
one exquisite piece of art
made up of all of our moments
what will we focus on,
the necessary parts on the mosaic that are filled with darkness
or the totality of the mosaic that makes us light.
i know which one i choose. how about you?
TO BE OUTSTANDING, STAND OUT!
sometimes it is hard,
to believe that what i know is true is true.
i woke up this morning
knowing that my developmentally delayed daughter
just wants to be loved and accepted
just as she is.
in my desire to “help” her
i find without even meaning to, i am always wanting her to do things
she does not feel ready to do.
i meditated and felt her and i prayed
that she be able to do the things she wants to do
without me or someone else telling her to do it.
i am willing to do whatever i need to do
so that she knows whatever she does,
i am there for her
i love and accept her.
and, then i thought about everyone else.
and how much i am there for them.
i am there a lot of times,
and in saying this,
i do not want to draw the focus to just the times that i am not
because i am here
and . . . . .
i realize how much more i want to love and accept others
how much i want to love and accept myself.
in the world today,
it seems the actions of a few
are trying to make me hate the whole
sounds similar to my way of thinking about myself.
i let the few moments of things i do wrong
color over all i do right.
i let my daughters few moments of accidents
color over the whole of her beauty
i know this sound to simple
but i wonder if terrorism would end
if we simply practiced self love.
pray with us
every night at 9pm EST
wherever you are, however you pray
take 5 minutes and love yourself
and pray for this beautiful world we live in.
LOVE. NO HATE.
the mosaic community
OFTEN QUOTED, RARELY PRACTICED
i wonder why……….
Am i alone in noticing what i notice?
we KNOW what we need to do
for businesses, for relationships, for self care
we don’t do it.
that’s not fair to say,
we do it for a while and then we stop doing it.
we know the right words to say,
how to present to others the right appearance,
why do we feel so unfulfilled,
so scared to be who we really are.
in business, in life, in love?
underneath all our stories, what is real?
do we do the things we need to do to be successful?
what do we do when our words say one thing
and our actions tell us another?
do we ask the right questions?
do we try to do it alone or ask for help?
i know this feeling well.
i am the same as you and yet, i feel different.
i get it. we feel others do not understand us,
our unique challenges.
and i know the separation that this feeling causes.
why ask for help from people who cannot understand us.
the beauty of a lie, is that it is based on a kernel of truth.
it is true, we are different.
but what we tell ourselves is a lie.
people do not need to understand us,
to help us understand ourselves.
they just have to ask the right questions.
what we tell ourselves is a story. a protection.
we are scared to be seen,
to love ourselves,
to acknowledge our power.
when will we be vulnerable
enough to be strong?
the oft quoted, rarely practiced . . .
if not now, when?
this post is for all of us that suffer from
the dis-ease of giving so much
that we do not allow ourselves to receive.
strong people ask for help.
why do we think we have to do it on our own?
why do we make excuses
that we can not afford it,
or we do not know where to find the right clients,
or that we just need a few months ?
or, or, or . . . .
when will it be our time
to sit at the table
the beautiful meal we prepare so exquisitely for others?
are you ready?
if not now, when?
WHAT IF . . . . .
the way you show up in life could be improved?
what would that do to your business?
to your relationship?
to the way you take care of yourself
and the others that count on you?
i am asking myself these questions more and more
and finding that the hiding places i have hidden in
and so well protected
by the fears that i have created
that it is really hard on my own to get through
to see the possibilities that would exist
if only i would allow myself the opportunity to consider
what if i was more than i thought i am?
what if i could show up more fully,
live more authentically, love more deeply.
i know the fear,
believe me, i know the fear
and yet, how much longer can i/we live governed by that.
what would happen if right now
right this very moment,
we, you and me, individually and together
were to look in the mirror
and really see who we are,
not the limited bruised and battered version we see,
nor the self inflated insecure version we create to hide behind
but the real me/you.
can i/you feel how supremely powerful i/you are???
stand in that power
for even just a moment
or for as long as you now choose to.
WHO you and i are,
is so much more than we think
are you ready to unveil your magnificence?
to live in the glory of who you are
and to finally show up and show yourself and this world
why you were created?
write i am below if you are ready.
either way, know your path is blessed
and you are magnificent.
IF YOU ARE LIKE ME,
you tell yourself a lot of stories,
that is if you are like me.
i am a storyteller.
and as charming and seductive as that might sound,
it is also very dangerous
because sometimes i tell the stories so often i believe them.
i was just working with a company today
and as we were talking they were telling me
about a certain situation
and the way they were talking about it,
made it seem like a foregone conclusion
and i found myself thinking
wow, this must be so hard for them
to operate under these sets of circumstances.
and then suddenly, the thought came to me
what if, as true as the story seemed to be
it wasn’t really true at all.
they had already been working with me a little bit
on my perspective program
and we paused for a moment and thought
what would happen if we raised our frequency
and changed our perspective.
what would that do to the story we had all bought into.
what if that story was true
but only from one perspective
and from all the other perspectives, it wasn’t true.
what would that do
to the way they were choosing to live
in the situation they were in.
what stories are you telling yourself
that as true as they are
with a change of perspective
no longer would be true?
i invite you to consider this
and see how your life might change.
as always, enjoy . . . .
I WENT TO A WRITING WORKSHOP YESTERDAY
and one of the closing points that the speaker,
Chuck Sambuchino, from Writer’s Digest made
was this simple and almost so obvious statement
that it has stopped being obvious
ALWAYS WRITE YOU BEST STUFF
because what happens in writing
is we write something and it is good
but we know it is not where we want it to be
so we edit it, and edit it, and then rewrite it and edit it again
we get tired and fed up and bored
and even though we know it is not our best
we just send it off anyway
it made me think
how would my life
if i held the same principle
to everything i do?
how would your life look? let me know.
SO MANY THINGS IN MY LIFE TRY TO BIND ME
and yet underneath all these things
what i have always been
F R E E
freedom is my birthright
freedom is who i am.
through the work that i do
and the ELI assessment (from ipec coaching) that i offer
it is very clear to me
how stress changes everything.
not just in me, but in all of us.
in our workplace, in our interactions, in our personal lives
stress changes our ability to show up fully.
i see that so clearly in my life.
what i am capable of doing in my day to day normal life
is so much greater than how play when i am stressed.
at first i thought i was unique
until i started doing this assessment on the people i work with
and i saw, we are all the same.
releasing those triggers that cause us stress
changes the game.
sometimes they are easy to find
other times they are hidden.
i know it is hard to find them on my own
and it is this knowing
that makes me realize how powerful
it is to have a great coach.
knowing how to go underneath
those things that cause us to play protect ourselves
put up walls
and play small
is the difference between a business or a person
that thrives and one that simply plays the game.
it feels good to feel free again
free of stress
free of self judgement
free of needing to please others.
as the bike rider in this picture
my road still has a long way to take me
but i now celebrate
these moments of freedom
and shout out
to the citizens of my mind
I AM FREE !
repeat after me
I AM FREE.
can you feel it?
if you choose to be happy
no one or no thing
can ever take
that happiness from you.
This is the essence,
the core belief of my inside out approach to everything:
business, branding, story, culture, personal development, love.
it has come from years and years of training
and still many times
i look outside trying to find what i want out there.
why do i disregard who i am away so easily?
and yet, we all do it, don’t we.
when we are not sure of WHO we are
we look for validation everywhere
but the one place that can give it to us.
i know the feeling i get
when i meet someone who has this sense of inner knowing.
it is so powerful.
i see the way they function in business
in relationship, and in relationship to their own self.
these people are not lost
looking for what others do or say
to find what they should do or say.
they know WHO they are
they walk into a room
and that knowing commands presence.
and yet, they never force who they are on another,
people just feel it and know.
and if others don’t feel it
or think they can do what they need
these people do not spend time trying to convince them
because they know
all of us will get to where we are going
sooner or later
and everyone, every business
has to make the decision for themselves.
so often, i see businesses and/or individuals
floundering because inside they are not strong
i know i can help
not by telling them what to do
but by connecting them to themselves,
quieting the noise around them,
and letting them feel and hear their answers come.
ANSWERS like HAPPINESS come from within
when we choose to go within
no one or not thing can take
the power of our inner knowing away from us.
but when we stay on the periphery
we are shaken by everything.
i want to live from my center,
more than that, i choose it
i choose to love my wife and my children from that place
to do business from there
and to help others feel the peace
that comes from going within
i want to help other make that choice.
where do you want to live?
know this . . . .
when it all comes down to it,
all of us want the same thing
TO BE LOVED AND TO BE ACCEPTED
and most of us will do what ever it takes to make that happen
we look relentlessly for our soul mate
we try so hard to be accepted by the right group go people. we want so badly for people to like us.
we look for what we want all around us
hoping that in being part of the group, that guy/girl will want us
ever so slowly,
we start to lose ourselves
in our desire to please others
so that we can feel loved and accepted.
what if we had it all wrong
what if, no matter what we did or did not do,
we were loved already
what if we are looking in all the wrong places
to find the one thing we already have.
we are in an epidemic experience
of loss of self love.
we love ourselves
at least that is what we tell others,
but because we really don’t,
we think that if we can get others to love us
we will feel comforted
only to find that when they do
we feel like an imposter
and build our walls even higher
thinking that if they ever really see who we am
they will see the same unworthy of love person we see
when we look in the mirror.
and so we get further and further away
from being ourselves
and the walls that we put up no longer allow us
the connection with others and so we feel isolated and alone.
unlovable, isolated and alone
if that doesn’t lead to addiction or self loathing
or just plain being too hard on ourselves
it is time for this to end
with the three simple words written above.
i want you to join me
in saying them over and over and over and over again to yourself.
you are loved.
tell it to the child inside you
that has waited all this time to hear it
and have the child say it back to you.
YOU ARE LOVED. YOU ARE LOVED. YOU ARE LOVED.
celebrate it, glorify it, live it, breathe it.
now how does your day look?
let me know.