Monthly Archives: May 2018

The Exquisite Beauty of Paradox

i find it so intriging that out of all the books
i could have written i wrote THE MOSAIC.
a book about the power of connection.
and i remember the 10 years i spent
as the Director of Business Development at Hay House,
and marvelled at what i saw over and over again:
people wrote the book they most needed to read,
not the one they were most equipped to teach.
it fascinated me.
and what excites me even more now
is seeing, that this is exactly what i have done too.
in one of the most disconnected times in my entire life
enters THE MOSAIC.
it took me 3 years to write
and as hard as it is for me to admit it now,
most of my life i have been a snob.
i have chosen to associate with only certain people
to shun the corners of life where the ordinaries live
and i write a book about the beauty of “the ordinary”.
all my life, i have tried to protect myself
from the pain of having lost my parents as a child
and i write a book about a boy who loses his parents
and his search for the place called heaven
where all pain vanishes.
i, laugh over and over again at the absurdity
as i am the most unlikely person in the world
to write a book where the take away is:
“connected we are happy.
disconnected we suffer.”
because i have been suffering in my disconnection.
to write about seeing what we do not see
when i struggle to see what others see.
and the memory of watching so many other great teachers
write the book they most need to read
leaves me now speechless.
THE MOSAIC is the book i most need to read.
its characters are archetypes
whose stories reveal the obstacles that stand in the way
and the simple strategies to help me/us
to connect more deeply to one another.
this is my story,
and it is my honour
in total transparency to share this fable with you,
who knows?
perhaps it is your story too
and if so, perhaps one day we can sit together
and laugh and cry
and share the touch of the archetypes together.
i reach out to you now
and ask you to help me connect with you.
for as THE MOSAIC says,
in connection we are happy.

Could the answer to the world problems be given to us by a 28 year old developmentally delayed girl? Why not?

so often, i listen to speak
rather than just simply listening to understand.
my mind works quickly
and often i (think i) know what is going to be said
and i am right enough of the time that it reinforces my actions.
and this is the way i have lived my life
until my beautiful developmentally delayed daughter taught me one of the most important lessons i have ever learned.

you see, Elisa does not speak like you and i
in fact, most of the time she remains quiet
and i have learned over time
to listen to her telepathically
as she is constantly putting her thoughts into my head
and because we are so connected,
most of the time i get what she is saying
and i listen to her,
but sometimes i don’t
and when this happens i ask her to use her words
to tell me what she wants.
and she will try to do this,
but remember, she does not speak like us.
so sometimes i don’t understand her even with her words,
when this happens, she speaks louder
thinking that if she increases the volume, i will hear her
but it isn’t the volume, it is the clarity of her words
that i can’t get.
and when she raise her voice and i still don’t understand,
she throws a tantrum
and when i still don’t get it,
she will run at me and try to rip my shirt or bite me.
fortunately, this does not happen too much anymore.
and it got me thinking,
elisa has shown me the way of every person i know,
she is more raw than most,
but isn’t it true
people try to tell us something
and when we don’t hear them, they speak louder
and when we still don’t give them the feeling of being heard,
they make a scene
and if they still don’t feel heard, they destroy something.

i wonder if the answer to the troubles we face
could be given to us by a developmentally delayed girl.
look at what we do,
we talk over people, we fight in teams we call our side
we love trump, we hate him
we are democrats vs republicans,
whites and black
men and woman
religion against religion.
is this the life we dreamed of living?
when is now the time to listen?
we face serious problems and we do not know the answers
because we can only see what we see.
one way to learn to see what we do not see
is to sit with other who see the world differently and just listen
but i/we defend our positions
and this is growing old. it is not taking us anywhere.
this old paradigm must end
it is time for a new paradigm to emerge
this paradigm is called connected intelligence.
the power of the people to find solutions together
by listening to each other
and seeing new ways we never saw before.

some people might say this is impossible
and one definition of impossible could be:
we don’t see a way to make it possible.
so when we sit together with others of like and unlike mind
and we share what we believe and listen to each other,
maybe, just maybe we will see something we never saw before
and the impossible may suddenly become possible.
the new conversation starts with listening not with talking.
care to join me?
all it takes is listening more and talking less.
it’s that easy.
please let me hear your thoughts.