Monthly Archives: March 2015

father-daughter-love

LOVE MYSELF

i don’t know about you
but i do know me
i lived life afraid
afraid to love and be loved
afraid to fail and to succeed
afraid that i would not be able to be who i thought i was.

so i hid,
played small,
and lived life running from one relationship to the next.
alone.

my fear became my friend,
it was the only thing i let close to me
and my protector
and it did it’s job very, very well.

i let nothing in, and let nothing out.
though i appeared to be kind and loving,
i never let anyone, not even myself,
into the center of my heart.
fear protected me with razor blade like invisible walls
all around my heart.

i was a good friend,
a good partner
a good brother
a good dad,
but never great one.

i was good at my work, some would even say great
but my work was to build others, never myself.
i was the guy behind the success of others
but never the one in front of my own success.

i had gotten used to it
and managed to live an ok life.
there was no reason to change.

until . . . .
i went shopping with my daughter for a dress for her to wear to my wedding
we went to the same store we had gone to to get her many things before
but this time,
nothing fit her.

BAM
it hit me,
she had grown a tummy just like mine.

it wasn’t always the case.
she had been heavy when she was living with me
but then choose to go away to live in a group home for 4 years
(my daughter has a developmental delay)
and while she was there, she lost a lot of weight,
a lot.
she was really skinny.
but when she moved back with us,
she very quickly gained weight again.

let me explain something here.
her diet was better than ever (gluten free, sugar free, diary free, everything free)
and she was exercising more than she ever had
so from that, she should have lost weight
but she did not.
she gained weight.

THEN IT HIT ME LIKE A TON OF BRICKS . . . .
my daughter was trying to be like me.
BAM!!!!!

suddenly, i have even more reason to love myself
to take off the protection of my “friend” fear
and to live life from a place of love.

the choice i made,
not only affected me,
it affected my daughter
and others close to me.

yesterday, while shopping for a dress with my daughter
my life changed.
day one, i love myself
and i am choosing to treat myself like someone who loves himself.
this one choice, changes all choices.

and what i realized is this.
even if i can’t do it for myself (which i most certainly can)
i must do it for my daughter.

the message i am giving her from today forward has changed.
i bet she will now lose weight again too.

what message are you giving to the world around you?
will you let fear bind you
or will you allow yourself to be seduced by love.
how will this one decision change your entire life?

SelfLove

LOVE AND ACCEPTANCE

years ago, my daughter taught me an amazing lesson . . .
i have gotten ahead of myself, let me share with you the story.

after years of working at hay house
as the director of business development
i was sitting at a dinner with many of our authors
when one of them stood and said,
“danny, we have been talking together.
you have helped each one of us so much,
and yet, you have never asked any of us for anything,
how come?”

i told them, “it is not only my job to take care of you,
but also my nature.
everyone wants something from you,
i want only to give to you.”

long story, long . .
they told me they wanted to give something back to me
and asked if they could come over and work on my developmentally delayed daughter.

you have to understand,
the people i was speaking with were the most renown healers and psychics in the world today,
so of course, i answered, yes!

one by one, the parade of luminaries came to my house
and start to work on my daughter.
after a couple days,
my daughter looked at me and said,
“daddy, what’s wrong with me?”
i smiled and replied,
“nothing my beautiful little girl,
you are perfect just the way you are.”

her next question took me totally by surprise.
” daddy, if nothing is wrong with me
why are you and all these people trying so hard to change me?
why don’t you just love and accept me the way i am?”

BAM!

with tears streaming down my eyes,
i promised her then and there
that i would not only love and accept her the way she is
but i would also do that for everyone i know.

there are many times i stumbled
and i choose not to look at those times
i choose to look at the many, many time i succeed
because in the process of loving and accepting my daughter,
i have started to understand
what loving and accepting myself means too.

all of us want to be loved and accepted
and this is something we can freely give each other.
it costs nothing to do
it takes no time to do it.
it is easy.

i love you.
i accept you.
just exactly the way you are.